"You've been away too long Craig"...mAn FRoM sNoWY RivER kNEw tHe DEaL!

 

I left Justin at the Palmerston North airport 3 months tomorrow. 

We both cried then, and inside I continue to cry now. 

This has been the single hardest challenge of my life. 

If I hated money before, I loathe it with a passion now.

I am exhausted, over worked, overtired, over night shift. 

My body involuntarily sleeps now when I fall on to my dorm bed. 

I am unable to enjoy anything except breathing while sleeping; even that's an effort.

I am completely over rude, obnoxious Australian women 'slinging shit' (literally) and with aggresion in the labour ward! I have never been so disgraced and dishonoured as a Midwife as I have in the past week. I am ashamed of my fellow country-women. 

Let me remind people of the enormous responsibility that Midwives take on every shift that they drag themselves into such merciless maternity units. Midwives are trained birth experts; NOT servants! 

It is not our fault, but it does become our problem when you have not been compliant during your pregnancy, and when you have continued to smoke or take drugs despite the warnings. You put our careers and our livelihoods at risk every time we greet you at the door with a non-judgemental smile. 

Neither is it our duty to accommodate your 15 family members, and to turn a blind eye when your 16 year old boyfrined decides to hop into bed with you at 2200 hrs hoping we'll never notice. Private rooms - Maybe. Four bed bays - No! Wake up to yourselves and grow a brain!  

You also have an average of 37 weeks to pick up a book and read "BABY! I'm about to have one; the hard facts". There is no excuse. If you attended your antenatal appointments like you should have, you would have been able to ask any questions you like, and chances are you would have been educated without even knowing it by your trained birth expert.

And for those that have already had 13 children to 6 different fathers...you still need to attend your antenatal appointments, have tests done, and ask questions. There is no excuse! You are not an expert just because you have punched out a bakers dozen from your vagina. 

I would keep ranting and venting but I am falling asleep over my computer. It's too much effort. I can't be bothered.

  

cReaTiVe jUicEs fLoWinG

I had the whole weekend off and to myself as by beloved duck-hunter went off to drink some alcohol with mates and come back for the second year in a row with nought ducks.
And while Rambo was away I went down to my little art studio on the pond with ducks that didn't get shot at, and I sketched in charcoal for the first time since January. It felt good. I uploaded it to FB and now onto my blog. I got a good response from the first sketch so yesterday I did another 5. All preliminary I suppose, but all worth uploading. I didn't scrap one.
Funny how creativeness will just pounce on you when you least expect it. Helps when you have some alone time I guess.
Feel recharged.
Check out my "Confessions of a midwife - art gallery" blog page, and gain a small and rare insight into my profession and my passion in life.