LiEUteNAnT ScRuFFy nObALLs pREdiCts tHinGs!

Yes folks...it's truly amazing. A seemingly unremarkable grass-eating animal, sporting a thick and scruffy coat,while incognito; possesses the uncanny clairvoyant ability to see into the future with deadly accuracy...

Meet 

Lieutenant Scruffy Noballs 

(AKA: 'Scruffy McDuffy', 'Gruffy McPuffy' and 'ScruffyBum' for short)

His obvious cockiness and confidence clearly indicated to us that this was not just your usual, run-of-the-mill, ordinary lamb-of-sorts. Indeed not! This was in fact a hardwired, comes-with-predictive-text-lamb-of-sorts...  and coupled with his 'look into my beedy eyes' future predictive talents; seemingly not even a challenge for Scruffy Noballs, and suddenly we realised that we had discovered a cash cow disguised as a scruffy lamb, and we were going to make millions.

But we were not prepared for his first visionary look into the future...

It was just another ordinary day on the farm, several months ago... It was 5am and Roger was meowing around the house and ambushing bedside table ornaments. Justin was half naked and half asleep as he threw Roger from the bedroom window. Lucky was curled up like a bagel on the leather couch. The Meredin Tight Five had been up for some time slogging away in their laboured egg foundry. And the calves were noisily protesting around the gate making demands for the return of their milk feeds.... but there was 'some-thing' not quite right in the orchard that morning.

Scruffy was agitated and began bleating... was he stubbornly refusing to be weaned off milk?...this was our first thought, but we now know that this brave little guy was fraught with distraction from his inner psyche third eye trying to unravel the cryptic messages being received from a parallel universe.

With a leap of faith into the unknown world of future prediction Scruffy began to have a vision.

At first it was hard for Scruffy to remain focused when there was so much rose bush to be had...

...but he fought the temptation just long enough to bring us this exhausting and eerie reenactment from the future....

Once Upon A Time...There was a very Scruffy Lamb...

...with a very Scruffy Farmer, who got new work boots...

..."You can't handle the Truth!" bleated Scruffy...

...and Yes, that is the Sun shining from my butt....

...(wardrobe change) Something, something....Aussie! Ow, Ow, Ow...

...Abstract performance art meaning 'to pull the Flag over one's head'...

... It seems I keep chasing my dreams, and...

...I keep searching for happiness, and...

...I just keep getting chased by chickens! 

...So now I'm going to stand tall...

...and take a leap of faith...

...and hope that I stop getting chased by chickens!

The End.

And there you have it folks! Make of it what you will...but for me the prediction is crystal clear. And I think we can all agree this is one very talented lamb indeed. Yes it's true...I'm going back to Aussie for 4 months to fulfill some challenging work opportunities in Rural QLD and NSW. Unfortunately one of the destinations is Ingham - where perhaps there will be a lot chickens and Scruffy's prediction could have been a prelude warning that I should not be going. Only one way to find out...wish me luck.  

Stay tuned for more future predictions from Lieutenant Scruffy NoBalls...      

piNKy; tAKiNg oVEr tHe WoRLd!!

THIS IS PINKY

YOUR NEW LEADER

DO NOT TRY TO RESIST MY CUTENESS

I PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD

MWAH HA HA

Day 1: Pinky is the newest addition to the funny farm. Justin phoned me from his father's farm yesterday to say that there was a mis-mothered lamb in the front of his Ute; in a hessian sack - if I wanted it I had to go to town to get a tub of lamb powder and then drop round and pick it up. How could anyone say no? 

When I finally got there, I mixed a bottle straight away and then opened the door of the ute to find a massive wool fadge tied off at the open end. Once uncovered, the itsy bitsy lamb just stood there looking at me confused and silent, with a bright pink nose. I picked Pinky up and took him to a piece of grass and offered him the bottle teat. Lambs are not always good at taking the bottle to begin with and Pinky was no exception. Eventually I got him to guzzle down the milk by standing backwards and leaning down over him with the bottle offered just before my knees - this way he felt like he was standing under his mother and feeding in a more usual manner. I felt like a twit and prayed no one was watching or about to question my sanity. 

So Pinky came home with me in the back of the Subaru in a large cat cage; it was a bit of a bumpy ride and even though I was going pretty slow on the winding gravel roads Pinky still got sideways a few times.

Pinky has been bottle feeding every 3-4 hrs, which is usual for a 2 or 3 day old lamb; he still has part of his umbilical cord attached. 

Day 2: After spending the night in the warm laundry with a wool blanket, he's now been upgraded to the orchard (well actually Justin evicted him ruthlessly from the laundry because the wee's and poo's were beginning to gain access to hard to clean corners) and now, all alone (except for the 5 chooks), Pinky's gone a bit sulky.

Today he hasn't drunk nearly enough, he's been extra sulky and refusing to take the bottle. He is frightened of the chickens and generally anything else that moves or makes any noise. I guess being separated from his mother is taking it's toll. Poor Pinky.

I am due to head up to the woodshed, in the pitch black, in the next 10 minutes or so to complete the last bottle feed for the night. Hopefully Pinky is feeling up to a feed. He needs his strength if he's going to take over the world.

Day 3: Pinky is feeling Super! He's scoffed down his bottle feed in record time, skipped along behind Justin who I think he has decided is his real Mother (well Justin did rescue Pinky from a certain death), and pranced around like a lamb on a mission...to take over the world... no doubt.

  

CiRqUe De SoOty

I have a second pet lamb. At this stage I have a 50% success rate with pet lambs. Hopefully for Cirque De Sooty my averages increase. I am exhausted from all the bottle feeds and walking up to the chook pen to do so. She is growing now though and the feeds will eventually wean away.
The orchard is blossoming and looks like a japanese garden. Add a cute little lamb to the equation and you could be mistaken for thinking you have died and gone to heaven.