Take me to my happy place please.
Today I have drifted from that amazing mother with as much energy as my three kids combined, to snapping in an instant like a rubber band cut free from the bounds of sanity!
I have tinkered and crafted with ease and saintly patience, only to be transformed 30 minutes later into a 300 year old ice-cold poltergeist from the crypt because I have found a half eaten apple and a jam crust smashed into the already destroyed carpet (so who really gives a fuck anyway?); apparently my other personality does!
Being a parent to toddlers is like becoming bipolar and Mary Poppins simultaneously.
To say I am not effected psychologically would be a total lie. Of course I'm taking anti-depressants. Who the fuck isn't? Postnatal depression? - yeah sure! Why not. Let's blame that; or just the pressures of being a mum, wife, manager, carer, accountant, and emotional-dumping-ground.
I take the meds to make it easier for me to sift through the bullshit that doesn't need a reaction and the times when I am within my well deserved right to react like a mad woman, but instead just act mildly pissed off while stabbing voodoo dolls in my minds eye instead.
My mother has bipolar and schizophrenia which for me and my brother meant we lived life on the razors edge. I remember mum being super fantastic and then feral when we were kids - the difference was, our behaviour didn't necessarily determine her behaviour.
I take my drugs with pride and determination to do a better job at raising my kids, being in a meaningful partnership, independent career woman and just generally "fucking awesome" at life!
I won't take them forever, but who cares if I did? What does it matter? They make my life what I wish it to be at this time - amazing, challenging, fulfilling, exciting, funny, and most importantly...happy! Mostly.
So if you are reading this and you still think that people who take "Happy Pills" are just cop-outs or taking the easy road - then move on out of my life and make way for the free-spirited people I am interested in meeting. The interesting ones, with life stories worth listening to.
Hello! And welcome to the party!
