wEddiNgS, WeeDiNg & wEaLLy WeaLLy uNfoRtUnAte WoEs

This is a post about 2 people who moved to the country to de-stress, unwind and breathe in the country air.

Since the beginning of April we have been forced to spend every last penny that we had saved in a 10 year period, been living and breathing dust, then mud, and now dust again. We have had to fix our vacuum cleaner, and the dishwasher and our new car; twice, and we have replaced our kettle and our computer screen. We have found ourselves missing a plane back to this country and spending money we now didn't have and replacing the tickets that we already purchased for twice the original cost. We change light bulbs daily just for fun. Water seems to evaporate right before our very eyes from the tanks that should be life sustaining.

Our wedding day looms over our heads. I have organised until I can organise no more. I have stopped. The wedding plans are half finished, or half complete depending on what type of glass you choose. Either way I'm fucked.

Our vege garden resembles the surface of mars and requires a back yard blitz team effort. We planned to be able to feed the masses that will come to our place during the wedding festivites. We may be able to feed them shallots in small doses at this stage.

Weddings, weeding, working; this is our life at the moment. Woeful isn't it.

                                                            Woe is me...

wEddiNG mANiA



Well hello! Welcome to my schizophrenic blog page.

A very good friend and I were recently agreeing that a good blog should be honest and real - but I'm not sure that it should so clearly show a persons mood swings. But what can you do hey?! I'm about to become married and with this enormous responsibility comes crankiness. I've stepped up to the plate and decided to accept that responsibility and in turn take it out on Justin. It's his fault after all, for finally (after a decade) deciding to propose to me...bastard! And just for the record, I think it's women who get the 'cold feet' and not men. It's just that we women blame men for everything and anything at this stage of the planning that it may as well be them who ran off - not us. Bastards!

So as you can see the wedding planning is going well. And if I could just figure out how to get out of it at this stage... my life would be slightly more in line with normality.

So I have just about ticked most things off the to-do list....
 - rant and rave like a loony *tick*
 - cry dismally like a spoilt child *tick*
 - crawl into a dark hole and hide *tick*
 - deny my future husband of bedroom happiness *tick*
 - remain unfocused and secretly continuing to plan wedding things in my head 24/7 *tick*
 - consider buying a one-way ticket to peru *tick*
 - and finally...accept my fate... .
        ...and start spending money at the speed of sound (*TICK* + *TICK*) squared = *KAACHING$$*

And for all the sick and demented women out there who decide to do this more than once in your life...You disgrace me! What could you be thinking. I am going to just become a nun after this if it doesn't work out (although then you may be expected to marry Jesus - christ is there no getting away!). I will move to a tiny deserted island with one palm tree - wait...then there will be 'Wilson' - fuck. Right...the moon - now I know there's no men on the moon (never has been if you like the conspiracy theories) so that will do me nicely.

Packing my stuff now. . .



Happiness - Here I come

wEdDinG jITTeRs

I have disastrous dreams where all sorts of unimaginable things happen to me during the lead up to my wedding on the day - dress catastrophes, tripping and breaking heels, someone in the audience speaks up when the celebrant asks 'Is there anyone who objects to this wedlock?' - you know just the usual cold feet jitters I'm sure.
It is a stressful event to organise. It is financially straining to the point of bankrupt. Everyone of your family expect to be invited and those that aren't probably won't speak to you again. The pressure is enormous.
I am wondering how many weddings are actually the straw that broke the camels back and lead to a hasty divorce - because I can see how that could happen.
I suppose it could be seen as the final test to true commitment, if anyone can survive a wedding together and still be smiling at each other afterwards then it was meant to be. I'm not convinced Justin and I are going to be smiling when we fork over all the money, but I have a feeling we will be trying hard not to crack up when George Sproule (Justin's Bestest Man-friend) gives us away. Once the shoulders start going we are not going to be able to look at each other. I guess that means it's true love somehow :-)