tEN tHinGs yOu PrObaBLy diDn't NeED tO KnOw aBoUT mE...

...bUt i'M gOiNG tO tELL yOU ANyWay.

One.
I can't resist from laughing out loud at someone who farts intentionally with confidence or who goes so far as to tell me their funny and random poo-stories; like a good friend who told us that one day he felt the need to make a bridge with toilet paper across the toilet seat just to test the loo-paper's strength ability - as you do of course. Maybe it's because I am primarily a nurse, or perhaps it's because I have lived with Justin for far too long, but I have a profoundly morbid sense of humour when it comes to the sounds and fragrances of trumpet farting and irresistibly curious poop stories that we can all relate to (these are a few of my favourite things...).

Two.

I really enjoy smelling Justin's BO. I know this is an insanely dense thing to admit in a personal blog, but I just love that musky, manly scent of turbo-fueled testosterone and masculinity that only a true soul mate-for-life could ever love. It must be the pheromones or something; animal magnetism at its ugliest and on display in all its glory - I go a bit cuckoo for it. Justin thinks I'm weird. I normally and naturally loathe other people's BO. And at times even Justin's BO is pushing the boundaries of my disgustingly perverse and blind love-lust attraction freak show.

Three.

Not too many people know this, and those that do pretend they don't; but I befriended and have been corresponding to a guy in Arizona State Prison for the past decade. He entered prison life at age 23 and is now in his mid-forties, his name is William, and in my eyes he is the sweetest but most damaged soul in the world. William has escaped death row and is now serving out two life sentences for aggravated assault that lead to his brother shooting a sheriff at point blank range. It's a very sad life story. William's letters bring me hope of survival, and a reason to cherish my own life with unparalleled gusto. He draws the most incredible pictures in prison to sell to other inmates so he can buy items from the prison store such as food and shoes. The picture below that he sent me was drawn on white cloth using a black art pen. It is one of my favourites. I have a box full of his artwork, handmade cards and decorated envelopes.    

Four.

I'm really scared when I go scuba-diving, yet (through the powers that be) I have patiently completed three certificates in PADI training (including the incredibly scary night dives) making me apparently a Rescue Diver; yet I am not convinced that I could save myself in a scuba diving incident much less another distressed human being who is suited up to the nines in underwater breathing apparatus. I only took up scuba diving because Justin really wanted to do it and I didn't want to miss out on anything he was doing. I have pretty much moosed my way through the whole experience; I have lost count of the fly away accents which I have endured due to my leperish techniques of diving and could have been very detrimental to my lung capacity, and I have definitely had hypothermia once at 21 meters which promptly led to another fly away accent by the time I reached 5 meters and when I had finally lost control of my brain function due to a brain freeze. The good news is though (according to all the Master Divers) that I am an extremely shallow breather underwater making me able to stay under for ridiculously long periods of time, unfortunately however this is not my plan and I pray that everyone else uses up their oxygen in record time just so i can get back up to the nausea inducing, but dry, boat. 

Five.

I can touch my nose with my tongue. 

Six.

I cannot help myself from giving inanimate objects names and personalities and at times inner monologue. Justin loves it.  

Seven.

I really, really enjoy singing out loud. I was always in the school choir but hated singing in front of a crowd. I used to get so nervous before getting up in front of the school, teachers and no doubt proud parents (although I never had one of my own ever attend for one reason or another). So nervous in fact that I once got a blood-nose right before going up on stage (while wearing a borrowed white collared shirt, which luckily survived the ordeal and so did I). Once I got going I was away, singing my little heart out, it was glorious, but because I was so damn short I was always in the front row which just added to my initial anxieties. Still to this day I love to sing in the car, hum in the shower, ipod singing out loud where others can't hear what you're hearing while lawn-mowing, or just SKY music channel background singing while studying; but ask me to sing you one of my hand written songs accompanied by my primitive guitar skills - Forget It! You'll be waiting in vain. 



Eight.

I can read Tarot cards. Let's just say it's a life skill that I picked up from all the dope smoking days of my mothers past and my unfortunate and woefully depressing childhood. The pictures on the cards always fascinated me from an artistic perspective; and lets not confuse anyone, I am talking about 'The Original Rider Waite Tarot Deck' illustrated by Pamela Colman Smith no less. I have always been intuitively mature enough to understand that the cards can be interpreted however you bloody well please...so I dabble in the occult from time to time just as a bit of fun really and only when I am in a good and positive mood - this generally unearths a much better outlook on my future, as opposed to when I'm feeling all 'doom and gloom' which tends to coincidentally produce a similar and unfavourable effect on my fortune telling. 

Nine.

I can only sleep naked. It's a curse when you are camping in huts with others. 

Ten.

I have recently become a Twilight fan, in an unhealthy way. My love of all things Twilight has become obsessive and irrational. But I'm an adult and no one has the right to tell me what I can and can't do anymore and I'm mature enough that it doesn't hurt or effect anyone else in my life...yet. Justin just ignores it, and while I haven't started calling him Edward or Jacob, clearly it's of no great concern to him at this stage. I guess he just figures he'll cross that bridge when he comes to it.