Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts

27 August, 2014

GoINg bAcK to WOrk!

Who would have thought that trying to go back to work after having just one baby would be so mentally challenging.

The issue is that I am now 'one adult, one child'...and as inflexible as hell.

We are now 9 and a half months into parenthood and I have returned to work, about 3 and a half months ago actually...and the above statement still stands true. 

I am now casual doing approximately half of the hours I was doing before and still I struggle. 

It is very difficult to maintain a work/life balance when you have a baby to consider. 

The much needed break is what it's all about, the illusion of freedom once again, the adult activities and conversations even if it's just about the weather and how good this decaf coffee tastes while I'm sipping it without having to sway it in and out of the reach of tiny octopus tentacles which have whip like acuracy. It is a guilty pleasure to return to work. 

You know what I love the most...getting to go grocery shopping on my own. Without a shrill, shrieking child at the wheel of your cart you can shop with confidence and at your own free pace. Take all day if you like. No rushed panic stricken frenzied shopping that belongs only on reality TV shows where the winner is racing against the clock. This might be fine if you already have a pantry half full of the things you need...but not fine when you are shopping for essentials and every missed item is a blow to your 'New Super Mum' persona. Every missed item is a personal slap in the face and screams for you to stay focused and do better next time.

TBH I can see why some women just throw their careers in at this stage, get their child rearing out of the way and then hope their career can be salvaged later on. It's a bit sad when you're still paying off a hefty student loan though. 

15 July, 2012

kEEp CaLM aND cARRy oN

It's been a rough couple of weeks but I'm feeling like there is hope now. Only 4 weeks until I am reunited with my beautiful husband. You can not imagine how happy I will be, but know I will be walking on water.
Nothing comes without sacrifice, and Justin and I must be due to come into some outrageously good fortune soon. A holiday is a priority. 
I won't be sad to see Dubbo behind me. We've kept the mortgage going and that's all that counts. Soon it will be a distant memory. 
If you know someone who works away from home and loved ones, either on a contract or as an agency worker; hug them next time you see them and tell them you think they are the greatest human being that ever lived. They deserve to be appreciated for their selfless sacrifices in life. I could not do this all the time. I take my hat off to those who do, and my heart bleeds for their patient and loving kin.
I am not going to want to let Justin go when I get back. I may be still hugging him a week after my return. I never want to take his company for granted ever again. 

I blog with BE Write

13 July, 2012

"You've been away too long Craig"...mAn FRoM sNoWY RivER kNEw tHe DEaL!


 





















I left Justin at the Palmerston North airport 3 months tomorrow. 
We both cried then, and inside I continue to cry now. 
This has been the single hardest challenge of my life. 
If I hated money before, I loathe it with a passion now.
I am exhausted, over worked, overtired, over night shift. 
My body involuntarily sleeps now when I fall on to my dorm bed. 
I am unable to enjoy anything except breathing while sleeping; even that's an effort.
I am completely over rude, obnoxious Australian women 'slinging shit' (literally) and with aggresion in the labour ward! I have never been so disgraced and dishonoured as a Midwife as I have in the past week. I am ashamed of my fellow country-women. 
Let me remind people of the enormous responsibility that Midwives take on every shift that they drag themselves into such merciless maternity units. Midwives are trained birth experts; NOT servants! 
It is not our fault, but it does become our problem when you have not been compliant during your pregnancy, and when you have continued to smoke or take drugs despite the warnings. You put our careers and our livelihoods at risk every time we greet you at the door with a non-judgemental smile. 
Neither is it our duty to accommodate your 15 family members, and to turn a blind eye when your 16 year old boyfrined decides to hop into bed with you at 2200 hrs hoping we'll never notice. Private rooms - Maybe. Four bed bays - No! Wake up to yourselves and grow a brain!  
You also have an average of 37 weeks to pick up a book and read "BABY! I'm about to have one; the hard facts". There is no excuse. If you attended your antenatal appointments like you should have, you would have been able to ask any questions you like, and chances are you would have been educated without even knowing it by your trained birth expert.
And for those that have already had 13 children to 6 different fathers...you still need to attend your antenatal appointments, have tests done, and ask questions. There is no excuse! You are not an expert just because you have punched out a bakers dozen from your vagina. 
I would keep ranting and venting but I am falling asleep over my computer. It's too much effort. I can't be bothered.
  



I blog with BE Write

01 July, 2012

HoW tO suRVivE DorMitORy LiViNG




















O.K. first of all I'm not even sure if it is possible 'tO suRVivE DorMitORy LiViNG', but there are some important facts you need to know before you try, and definitely some things you should avoid.

I have been blessed with the opportunity (lets just say science experiment) to coexist and live in a dorm; with other people of both sexes. Well all women and one other person of the opposite sex...lets just give him the pseudo name "Black Stallion". Let's all feel sorry for him. Black Stallion has gone now and despite being a good spooner to most - he was loyal to his girlfriend back in Sydney; what a good boy. So I guess Tip Number One is  'make sure you are aware that the dorm is unisex before you move in' ...it can take you by surprise if you are on the toilet and then a man walks in and uses the cubical next to you. You never get use to that. 

Also, it's important to be social, even if you usually aren't. No matter what, you must make an effort to get to know you dorm mates. This is paramount to survival because there are times when you want to talk the ear off someone and it doesn't really matter who...if people kind of know who you are this helps. You can't just walk out of your room after a month and a half and start up a conversation with someone who's never laid eyes on you other than in the shadows. That's just creepy. And people will start to speculate things about you. It's best to be in with the crowd and doing the speculating. Tip Number Two 'make friends, learn to speculate'. 

You must be patient and peaceful with group television viewing. The important thing to remember here is that no one person owns the remote or has the right to choose the programs that everyone watches, but unfortunately there's always some control freak who seems to break this rule continually. My mantra is 'I can just go to my room when I've had enough of this bullshit; screw you guys I'm going to my room'. You will never get to watch what you want anyway, so don't expect to. If you are super cool like me you will go forth to the linen closet and find an old dormant mini TV and hook it up with a $20 Dick Smith set-box and DVD player and learn to hide away in your room for hours watching all your favorites from The English Patient to the TrueBlood series. Tip Number Three 'expect to share or become independent but risk being speculated about'. 

Eating food is an important factor to survival no matter where you find yourself. It is interesting that I should bring this up...because it is the one issue I struggle with the most. Perhaps I shall learn something from my infinite wisdom. Firstly, everything is communal. You rely on others to be clean and tidy; and they're not. You trust that others won't use your milk; but they do. You compete for fridge space, freezer space, cupboard space and 'get the hell out of my space' space. It's a free for all and it's dangerous. Especially if you haven't been able to cook a decent meal in over a month because all you've got to work with is an over-sized splade, a rusty cheese grater and a deformed Tuppaware container. The trick here is to buy frozen meals, pray to God that the 'convection oven' doesn't cark it and pretend that you really just want to lose weight. Tip Number Four 'TV dinners are better than eating raw goanna and drinking squeezed elephant dung' (by a small margin). 

Everyone is equally as pissed off as you are for being away from home and loved ones. It doesn't matter here if you are a nurse, midwife, physio, doctor or a lab technician - you are all here because you need the money, not because you want to be here. Everyone hates having to share the one shower, the two toilets, the one telly, the one washing machine. But it also binds you with a common hatred of all things institutional. Conversations often start with 'have you just finished work?' or 'when are you working next?'. Then you move on to how 'shitty and cold the weather is in Dubbo today', followed by...some good old fashioned 'speculating' about the new people moving into the still warm beds from the two physio's that just left. Tip Number Five 'One for all, and all for one', you can't escape it, and neither can anyone else - so just go with the flow. 

And although you might be lonely and pining for your husband, boyfriend, lover or friend, it is also important to remember to enjoy the quiet times around the dorms when no one else is here to annoy you. Instead of wasting your time blogging, you should be raiding everyone else's food stuffs, using the toilet in peace, watching what you want on TV or just channel surfing mercilessly. So the last Tip of the day is Number Six 'when you find time to yourself, own the MF dorm like a Boss!'. 
       

I blog with BE Write

10 April, 2012

tHe ReAsON wHY fArMeRS arE NOt RiCh...


This may come as a shock to some town people who so strongly believe that farmers must be rich............WRONG! ! !
I had a lady say exactly this to me when she asked why my husband and I had come back to NZ...
"To farm" I replied.
"You must be rich then" she said.
I laughed out loud and more importantly in her face.
Here is a webcam reenactment...


It is true...you need some money to begin with in order 'to farm', but then after that you just keep chasing your tail so to speak. You buy to sell, so you can buy more to sell, to buy more... you get the picture.

So for us, this is what $245 looks like these days - and sometimes it dies for no reason.


And surprise, surprise, there are hidden costs that nobody tells you about too.

                              A tonne of milk powder and half a tonne of grain = thousands of dollars...


Milk bar feeders = hundreds of dollars...


$80+ worth of electrolyte powder...


Antibiotic powder...


Anti-shitting liquid...


The most expensive disinfectant in the World!!...(not much change from $250)


Iodine spray for umbilical cords...


Paint markers for singling out the slow/fast feeders...


Sawdust by the tonnage, water troughs, hay and grain feeders...


Trailer to go to the auctions with...


Times $245 by 50...you do the math...


Man hours...


Do you still think we're cute??...and that farmers could possibly be rich after all that?!!!...


psst... An optimist is a person who doesn't understand the enormity of the problem.




23 March, 2012

LiEUteNAnT ScRuFFy nObALLs pREdiCts tHinGs!

Yes folks...it's truly amazing. A seemingly unremarkable grass-eating animal, sporting a thick and scruffy coat,while incognito; possesses the uncanny clairvoyant ability to see into the future with deadly accuracy...

Meet 

Lieutenant Scruffy Noballs 
(AKA: 'Scruffy McDuffy', 'Gruffy McPuffy' and 'ScruffyBum' for short)
His obvious cockiness and confidence clearly indicated to us that this was not just your usual, run-of-the-mill, ordinary lamb-of-sorts. Indeed not! This was in fact a hardwired, comes-with-predictive-text-lamb-of-sorts...  and coupled with his 'look into my beedy eyes' future predictive talents; seemingly not even a challenge for Scruffy Noballs, and suddenly we realised that we had discovered a cash cow disguised as a scruffy lamb, and we were going to make millions.
But we were not prepared for his first visionary look into the future...

It was just another ordinary day on the farm, several months ago... It was 5am and Roger was meowing around the house and ambushing bedside table ornaments. Justin was half naked and half asleep as he threw Roger from the bedroom window. Lucky was curled up like a bagel on the leather couch. The Meredin Tight Five had been up for some time slogging away in their laboured egg foundry. And the calves were noisily protesting around the gate making demands for the return of their milk feeds.... but there was 'some-thing' not quite right in the orchard that morning.
Scruffy was agitated and began bleating... was he stubbornly refusing to be weaned off milk?...this was our first thought, but we now know that this brave little guy was fraught with distraction from his inner psyche third eye trying to unravel the cryptic messages being received from a parallel universe.
With a leap of faith into the unknown world of future prediction Scruffy began to have a vision.
At first it was hard for Scruffy to remain focused when there was so much rose bush to be had...
...but he fought the temptation just long enough to bring us this exhausting and eerie reenactment from the future....
Once Upon A Time...There was a very Scruffy Lamb...

...with a very Scruffy Farmer, who got new work boots...


..."You can't handle the Truth!" bleated Scruffy...

...and Yes, that is the Sun shining from my butt....

...(wardrobe change) Something, something....Aussie! Ow, Ow, Ow...

...Abstract performance art meaning 'to pull the Flag over one's head'...

... It seems I keep chasing my dreams, and...

...I keep searching for happiness, and...

...I just keep getting chased by chickens! 

...So now I'm going to stand tall...

...and take a leap of faith...

...and hope that I stop getting chased by chickens!
The End.
And there you have it folks! Make of it what you will...but for me the prediction is crystal clear. And I think we can all agree this is one very talented lamb indeed. Yes it's true...I'm going back to Aussie for 4 months to fulfill some challenging work opportunities in Rural QLD and NSW. Unfortunately one of the destinations is Ingham - where perhaps there will be a lot chickens and Scruffy's prediction could have been a prelude warning that I should not be going. Only one way to find out...wish me luck.  
Stay tuned for more future predictions from Lieutenant Scruffy NoBalls...      

08 May, 2010

wOke uP iN a HoSpiTaL

It's true. I woke up this morning in a hospital bed. Of course it was just because it was so quiet on the Maternity ward that it was expected that staff would naturally spend the time asleep. I love this job.
It's just as well I did get some sleep too; Justin has phoned in his shopping list late last night and it's two pages long. So after I finish work at 7am I am heading dutifully to 'New World' the local shopping centre (which oddly looks and feels exactly like 'Woolworths' from Australia, just a whole lot smaller).
And then...need I say it...I then have to make the 1hr pilgrimage home, while trying to remain on the gravel roads.
Changing the topic...I bought my Wedding Dress yesterday - exact same one I was going to buy in Aussie - right style, colour, size and 20% off! Very happy. I have had it out of the dress bag twice overnight, hung up over the privacy curtain rod in a vacant ward room; fellow staff cooing over it and the distant wedding date plans. All very exciting.
Justin is yet again a broken man. Guys just don't get the dress thing. You are the focal point all day for a whole day! I get it now. Who wants to look and feel second rate, when instead you can actually achieve royal status for just a few extra hundred (or several hundred) dollars. Hope Justin can forgive me one day when our Grandchildren want to sit on our knees and paw through the old wedding album.
The main thing is...I'm happy! Everything else can get in line.

05 May, 2010

SuRpRiSe! NiGhT sHiFt

It's 10 past four in the morning and my eyes feel a little bug eyed. Not feeling too bad considering the day I had yesterday madly entertaining and having my ears talked completely off. The worrisome thing will be the hour long drive home at 7am while I have the radio blasting and the frosty air streaming through an open window to wake myself up.
I must also remember to get petrol before I head back out to wherever the hell it is I live. I still haven't exactly decided on the title of the area in which we live - it's kind of between many places. Perhaps it might be best if I pick up a 'V' at the servo while I'm fueling up.
The shift has been pleasant enough with mild interruptions to the chit chat natter I have been sharing with a fellow RN. No sleep was achieved this shift, and with the buzzers going off every hour or so I'd say I wouldn't have gotten any anyway. Them's the breaks.
A baby is stirring now and my ears are super tuned in to whether it is a hungry cry, a dirty/wet nappy cry or just a pick me up cry...And now it's all quiet on the home front again...for now.
Well I must away and do some more notes and make another espresso coffee deluxe with a sledgehammer twist. I won't have any trouble falling asleep when I get home that's for sure. I have been awake for just over 22hrs and I still have another 4 and a half to go. I know I can make it. Yes I can! Yes I can! ZZZZzzzzzz

21 April, 2010

sLaVe tO tHe LaNd


No one said it would be easy, and no one was right.
Justin and I are now slaves to the land. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health. Till death do us part.
A bit morbid for 8:40 in the morning, but after a burst water pipe late last night; the thanks we get from three sick calves in their supposed 'weak' state, Justin was out doing repairs soaked to the core trying to restore an entire water supply from the dam to all the surrounding paddocks - 1300ha. The last ride down to check on the pump I was in attendance. It was chilly, dark and unusual work for 9pm.
This morning we were both up just before the crack of dawn, back on the four-wheeler and with ladder in tow off to check another tank 3 paddocks away at the top of a hill. I can say that the sunrise was magnificent. I should also mention that I could not feel my hands or feet. Justin carried on with switching off electric fences, climbing to the top of said reservoir and checking the progress of it filling and then proceeded to retract the whole mission very quickly indeed. The cup of tea Justin had slurped down only 15 min's earlier had finally stirred his innards into a frenzy and he was now becoming very volatile. I was asked (somewhat impolitely) to race down ahead and open the gates up in anticipation of the great escape.
Life with Justin is one big comic strip, even the most dull situations can, and often do take a twist of fate into hilarity.
So farm life doesn't really have any set hours. It's pretty full on when things go wrong and cows and bulls are very thirsty critters. They may go one day without water but after that they drop off pretty quickly from what we've heard. We'd rather not find out by experience.
I begin my new job today. As expected I am longing to get back into any kind of payed work - both for financial reasons and for the mental stability. I could never be unemployed for more than 3 months I reckon. I would just go stir crazy. You lose your confidence, your identity, your purpose for being. Even if you scrape up dung voluntarily - it's a start. I love working. So does my Mum, when she's well. Unfortunately as she gets older it is becoming harder and harder for her to maintain the gut-wrenching physical jobs that she is likely to be employed for. With few skills, except for being a keen worker at anything, the last few employment opportunities that have surfaced for her have been either working on a conveyor belt at a chicken abattoir or a conveyor belt in a large bakery. Both require round the clock hours, mostly twilight and in excess of 10 to 16 hours. Other jobs that Mum has done include working on a trawler in Yamba (requiring both Daniel and I to be babysat overnight), vacuuming cinema theatres - again at night, truck stop attendant and cook, cleaner of just about every facet, and once long ago a nurses aid.
For all my Mother's weaknesses there is two strengths. And luckily for me she managed to pass on only the strengths.
Mum is still in Hospital, 7 weeks after I admitted her. I spoke to her yesterday and she feebly explained that some Dr has told her it will be at least 3 days before she can have unescorted leave. One of the many stepping stones to getting out of the psyche ward and proving that you are no longer a danger to yourself and others.
Mum has struggled with my move overseas. We have been preparing her for it for over 5 years, but it still impacted greatly on her ability to cope.
Frustratingly though, Mum still insists that she does not require "legal drugs" to make her better and is adamant that her bipolar disorder is just a cruel figment of a "controlling government body" and that if everyone just left her alone and stopped stealing all her important documents she'd be fine.
We tried that, it didn't work.