Yes folks...it's truly amazing. A seemingly unremarkable grass-eating animal, sporting a thick and scruffy coat,while incognito; possesses the uncanny clairvoyant ability to see into the future with deadly accuracy...
Meet
Meet
Lieutenant Scruffy Noballs
(AKA: 'Scruffy McDuffy', 'Gruffy McPuffy' and 'ScruffyBum' for short)
His obvious cockiness and confidence clearly indicated to us that this was not just your usual, run-of-the-mill, ordinary lamb-of-sorts. Indeed not! This was in fact a hardwired, comes-with-predictive-text-lamb-of-sorts... and coupled with his 'look into my beedy eyes' future predictive talents; seemingly not even a challenge for Scruffy Noballs, and suddenly we realised that we had discovered a cash cow disguised as a scruffy lamb, and we were going to make millions.
But we were not prepared for his first visionary look into the future...
It was just another ordinary day on the farm, several months ago... It was 5am and Roger was meowing around the house and ambushing bedside table ornaments. Justin was half naked and half asleep as he threw Roger from the bedroom window. Lucky was curled up like a bagel on the leather couch. The Meredin Tight Five had been up for some time slogging away in their laboured egg foundry. And the calves were noisily protesting around the gate making demands for the return of their milk feeds.... but there was 'some-thing' not quite right in the orchard that morning.
Scruffy was agitated and began bleating... was he stubbornly refusing to be weaned off milk?...this was our first thought, but we now know that this brave little guy was fraught with distraction from his inner psyche third eye trying to unravel the cryptic messages being received from a parallel universe.
With a leap of faith into the unknown world of future prediction Scruffy began to have a vision.
At first it was hard for Scruffy to remain focused when there was so much rose bush to be had...
...but he fought the temptation just long enough to bring us this exhausting and eerie reenactment from the future....
Once Upon A Time...There was a very Scruffy Lamb...
...with a very Scruffy Farmer, who got new work boots...
..."You can't handle the Truth!" bleated Scruffy...
...and Yes, that is the Sun shining from my butt....
...(wardrobe change) Something, something....Aussie! Ow, Ow, Ow...
...Abstract performance art meaning 'to pull the Flag over one's head'...
... It seems I keep chasing my dreams, and...
...I keep searching for happiness, and...
...I just keep getting chased by chickens!
...So now I'm going to stand tall...
...and take a leap of faith...
...and hope that I stop getting chased by chickens!
The End.
And there you have it folks! Make of it what you will...but for me the prediction is crystal clear. And I think we can all agree this is one very talented lamb indeed. Yes it's true...I'm going back to Aussie for 4 months to fulfill some challenging work opportunities in Rural QLD and NSW. Unfortunately one of the destinations is Ingham - where perhaps there will be a lot chickens and Scruffy's prediction could have been a prelude warning that I should not be going. Only one way to find out...wish me luck.
Stay tuned for more future predictions from Lieutenant Scruffy NoBalls...
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