It's no laughing matter, I am completely at the mercy and utterly dependant on caffeine. I have been drinking coffee since my very early teens and by the time I was a Registered Nurse I was beginning to hide coffee in cupboards.
I am coming out of the closet and I'm not ashamed to admit that as I tap away on the key-board I am nurturing a full cup of Moccona; indulgent and wistfully happy.
All things in moderation; except coffee. Give it to me upon waking, funnel it in any 'ol how, orally, parenteral, intramuscular, intravenously... but not rectally (I'm not a psycho).
For those that DO NOT drink coffee...Good for you! and all the better for me, because I don't have to share my coffee beans with you. Those that DO drink coffee, you'll know what I'm saying...and keep away from my stash!
And for those that say 'Oh I don't drink coffee BUT I love the smell of it roasting', I have only three words for you - PASSIVE CAFFEINE INHALER!
I love all things coffee, except decaf. I have tried to love decaf but I soon discovered that it didn't have any caffeine in it so I threw it out. I don't want any impostor coffee around here.
Give me imported Guatemalan and Peruvian beans with the fresh smell of trafficked child labour, but make it Fair Trade and Organic so I can drink it guilt free.
Justin never tries to engage in any form of conversation, lets change that to confrontation, with me until I've had my morning coffee fix. Sometimes he will hastily make it to save time and bloodshed; and as the spoon is being extracted from the swirling light brown liquid gold I have noticed on more than one occasion that his hand has been shaking. Bless.
So I am going to detox from Caffeine, again, because I am showing all the signs of kidney failure, again, and I just wanted to let everyone know so they can steer clear of me in the corridors, on the road, and definitely in face-to-face combat. Good luck my pretties.
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